As human beings we struggle with the weight of life and sin that easily entangles us.
Most times when we feel offended, it is due to an issue that can be resolved but we choose to take drastic negative life changing decisions.
- Offence is dangerous.
2 Samuel 15:7-12, 17:23, 18:6-15, Hebrews 12:1-3
You need be a Kingdom builder.
- Effective Kingdom builders are those who are prepared to deal effectively with their woundedness.
- You cannot be an effective kingdom builder if you are entangled with feelings of offence.
Offence causes a deep wound that eventually begins to rot.
- You cannot go to the battle line if you are wounded.
- Offence leads to a lose-lose outcome.
- Offence if not dealt with properly, it will lead to destruction.
Absalom was offended by what David had neglected to do.
- Ahithophel was offended by what David had done.
- Both Absalom and Ahithophel betrayed David knowingly because he had offended them.
Offence, if not dealt with will make you do things that you thought you were not capable of.
- Absalom's offence towards David led to twenty thousand people dying and hundred thousand people being displaced.
- Something that causes one to turn aside from the right path.
- An offence is a bait, snare, stumbling block or a trap.
- The devil uses an offence as a bait, snare, stumbling block or trap you from being who God has called you to be.
Offence is bound to come.
Everytime the devil tempts us is not the main issue, it's how we respond to the temptation that really matters.
- Many times what starts an offence is a small matter that later results to an unbearable situation.
How offence degenerates:
* Displeasure (not being happy about something) -> irritation (with the issue) -> resentment (resenting the person) -> bitterness -> retaliation (acting on your feelings to ensure the person pays for what they did or neglected to do)
How can you build the kingdom of God to thrive when you are wounded by offence?
- How many people around you have been drawn into your mess because of your feelings of offense?
- Whenever you pull others into your offense, you make them vulnerable to negative consequences.
Offence makes you seek for the punishment of those who have offended you.
Why offence is destructive:
* The damage it causes
- It creates disharmony and division.
- Division will lead the downfall of those affected by it.
- The nation of Israel never recovered after Absalom's betrayed David.
- Offence if not dealt with leads to devastation and death (someone has to pay the price).
- When you involve other people to fight your offense, they will be more ruthless than you.
** The difficulty and subtlety to detect it.
It is not easy to detect that you are feeling offended.
- Love deficit results in one being easily enslaved by offence.
- The presence of pride in a life leads one being offended easily.
- Pride puts you at the centre of your life and not God.
* The loss of all sense of objectivity
You lose the bigger picture - God and His Kingdom that you are representing.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
- Offence can make you become someone you cannot recognize.
Ahithophel was Basheeba's grandfather.
- Ahithophel was a very wise man who served David by providing him counsel. This helped David to grow and establish his kingdom.
- David impregnated Basheeba and killed her husband to cover up his wrong.
Ahithophel served David for 22 years feeling offended about how he had destroyed his grandchild's life.
- He served quietly whilst harbouring resentment.
- He took Absalom's offer to destroy David as he had been waiting for an opportunity to revenge.
- Instead of dying with honour, Ahithophel died in disgrace by committing suicide.
He was deeply hurt by how his sister, Tamar was raped by their half brother, Amnon.
- He kept two years in silence without raising the issue even though he was deeply hurting and feeling offended.
- He eventually kills Amnon and spends the rest of his life planning the downfall of David for not giving justice to Tamar.
- He was offended for 11 years before he revenged by dethroning his father.
Be careful of offending others, you can easily destroy their lives.
Are you willing to be a kingdom builder? Can you build whilst feeling offended?
Best Defence to offence
i. Saturate yourself with the Word of God.
- Psalm 119:165
- When you love the Word of God nothing will make you stumble.
ii. Be prayerful
- Matthew 26:41
- Don't wait for someone to apologize and try make amendments with you. Choose to make peace with them in prayer.
- Pray for their wellbeing.
iii. Choose to live in love
1 Corinthians 13:5, Hebrews 12:14-15, 1 Peter 4:8
- Its only when you choose to love everyone will you be able to forgive those who have offended.